Faith

Last Tuesday at 9:30am I had a little scare with my little peanut. I was getting ready to run some errands, and out of no where I felt like I had to use the bathroom... quite normal when your pregnant right... well I went, and it turned out that I was actually bleeding. Now, my first instinct was to start crying.. so I did. Usually blood is never a good sign, I started to freak out even more because Russ was not here. He was still working 4 hours away at 29 Palms. So I called my friend, Amanda, and she raced up here, and asked my other friend, Leslie, to come as well. They looked at me, sobbing and freaking out, told me to calm down and drink water. Amanda called the ER for me and they told me to come in. So Leslie stayed at my house with Ethan and Amanda drove me to the Naval Hospital. The doctor told me that my cervix was closed so that was a good thing... he couldn't explain why I was bleeding. He said something about a hormone cyst rupturing..or that my body was thinking the baby was an infection and was trying to fend it off.... or something. I just wanted to know if my peanut was okay. So they did a ultrasound, and peanut was okay, heart beat was a little low, but okay. So they send me home on a miscarriage watch (.... I was terrified when they called it that). Well I was able to get a hold of Russ, he told his command, and he was able to come home that night. He got home around 6:30.
The reason why I called this post FAITH, is because... Lately I have been going back to church. Honestly I have been doing it more for Ethan then myself, but I have been loving being in the atmosphere again, so its been a good thing. Well, I haven't prayed in.... mmmmmm..... like 2 years, like an actual prayer for myself.... I was so lost and scared when I got back from the hospital. I didn't know what to do. Russ wasn't here yet, and I really needed to talk to someone. I didn't want to worry my parents, so I couldn't call them yet. So I just knelt down and tried to pray. I sat there for about 5 mins, thinking of what to say. Because who am I really to just kneel down and ask for a blessing when I haven't made any effort in the last 2 years. So I stood up. Called my dad. He felt sorry for me and wished he could give me a blessing. (I really really wanted that more then anything). So he suggested that I call my bishop. I was taken back a little because he of all people knew that I haven't been faithful to the church in some time, and for him to say that the bishop of my new ward would come give me a blessing, made me cry. I told him I would call the bishop tomorrow if I was getting worse. After I talked to my dad, Russ came home, we talked a little, he reassured me everything would be alright, I told him I really needed to sleep so I went into my bedroom. I thought, if my dad felt like the bishop would come give me a blessing even though I had only been going to church for 2 weeks, that I could pray. I could ask the lord to help me, even though I might not deserve it. So I did. (I wont share what I said, but it was mostly sobs and sorrys) So I got up, went to bed.
I woke up the next morning to really bad cramps. I had stopped bleeding, so that was a good sign, but the cramps were pretty bad. I pretty much stayed in bed all day on Wednesday. But even during that, I had an overcoming feeling that everything was going to be okay. I haven't felt like that in a very long time.
Today I had to go back to get my blood drawn and to listen to the heart beat. It was higher beat then Tuesday, and I have not had very much cramps and no bleeding.
I guess the reason why I wanted to share this is because, no matter what the situation you are in, in your life, you can receive blessing from our lord as long as you have faith. People talk about this over and over all the time, having faith. I was taught this growing up, it wasn't until now that I realized how strong that sentence is. You can receive blessings from our lord as long as you have FAITH. I had faith that the lord would do what he saw fit with our little peanut. I cant believe it took me this long to realize that he can help us no matter what situation we are in, it might not always be how we want or expect, but he will always be there to listen and help.  I cant wait til Sunday to go to church. To feel more of that comfort that I feel now.